Daniel Kahneman (2011)

Why we recommend it:  This book will open your eyes to a whole new understanding of human judgment and decision-making, completely changing the way you think about how you think. It’s no surprise Kahneman won a 2002 Nobel prize in economics for his research with colleague Aaron Tversky—what was surprising was that the research that upturned a key assumption in economic theory came from the work of psychologists, not economists. Economic theory had always assumed people make decisions based on gains versus losses—weighing their decisions rationally. Kahneman’s and Tversky’s research showed that, in fact, we’re subject to a wide range of mental shortcuts (hueristics) and cognitive bias. (My copy of this book is well-thumbed—even though I’ve replaced it three times after lending it out and not getting it back.)

Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

Why we recommend it: This engaging and enlightening read does exactly what the authors promise: it gives parents practical strategies to help kids manage their emotions and get all their “brain parts” working together cooperatively. Siegel came up with the concept, “name it to tame it,” a strategy that teaches kids to move big emotions from the reactive brain to the thinking brain by naming what they’re feeling. Other key concepts include “connect and redirect” (calming a child’s emotions through touch and eye-contact before talking them through the situation logically), “move it or lose it” (using physical movement or play to change a reactive state), and “use it or lose it” (walking kids through the process of thinking first before acting on impulse). This isn’t a long book, but it offers information and strategies that can turn home into a more peaceful haven for you and your child.

Brené Brown

Why we recommend it:  This is helpful to have on hand alongside Siegel and Bryson’s “The Whole-Brain Child.” Brown picks up on their “name it to tame it” concept and provides an “atlas of the human heart,” or if you prefer, an encyclopedia of some 87 human emotions. If you can only name a handful of emotions (love, joy, peace, anger, distress, annoyance—and maybe a few others), you’ll find this book a helpful tool. Brown points out that connecting with one another requires a common language to describe our inner world that allows us to tell our stories and hear the stories of others. And if we’re to manage our emotions effectively, we first need the words to recognize what it is we’re setting out to “tame.”

Bruce Perry, M.D., with Maia Szalavitz

Why we recommend it:  It’s one thing to understand John Bowlby’s and Mary Ainsworth’s research exploring parent-child attachment bonds. It’s quite another to see the evidence of case studies recorded by those who pick up the pieces when those bonds fail to form or are interrupted. Bruce D. Perry is senior fellow of the Child Trauma Academy in Houston, Texas. He’s treated children exposed to extreme deprivation and led the trauma assessment team that interviewed the children released during the 1993 Branch Davidian siege in Waco, Texas. The case studies in this book are heartbreaking but hopeful: We see how devastating the effects of trauma can be, while also recognizing the capacity even very small humans have for post-traumatic growth, given healthy, stable connections with caregivers, teachers, and community members.

Rebecca M. Jordan-Young and Katrina Karkazis

Why we recommend it: It’s exciting to discover new research that forces us to revisit and revise the science we thought we knew. And that’s exactly why this book is so important. Testosterone has been blamed for everything from the male libido to male violence—and so much in between. But it’s not the essence of manliness that popular culture has imagined. It doesn’t predict “masculine drives,” like competition, aggression, risk-taking—or even sexual libido. In short, a history of correlations long taken to be causes are beginning to come to light for the first time. This book examines the emerging research, carefully explained by a cultural anthropologist and a scientist whose research spans social medical science, sex, gender, sexuality and epidemiology.